It's an expression that is usually reserved for the New Year.
As is always the case, I'm a little late.
Only 31 days, so by my normal standards, I'd say that I'm right on time.
And, while I've made my thoughts on resolutions quite clear, I haven't been completely honest.
I haven't lied, per se.
But, I have withheld.
See, I've made some major changes in my life this year.
I can hear you. You're thinking, "But it's February 1. What kind of major changes could you have made in 31 days?" Bite. Your. Tongue.
Because I've changed.
If we're friends on FB or if you follow me on Instagram, you have seen my status updates and pictures.
Over the summer, I posted photos of my gorgeous new Coach diaper bag. I also received new Coach sunglasses and 2 new Coach purses since Myra was born.
And a pair of Frye boots, new running shoes, and 2 pairs of J.Crew CeCe ballet flats.
The Big Brown Truck has delivered countless boxes to my house from J.Crew, Crewcuts, Anthropologie, Crate and Barrel, Land of Nod, Pottery Barn, and PB Kids.
Our mail carrier has became a great friend because she so frequently has to get out of her red mail Jeep and bring packages to our door. We strike up a conversation at least twice a week. I adore her.
JC is about to turn 4 and has had his room redone twice since his nursery.
My entire house has evolved over the past year; nothing (aside from the bathroom) looks the same.
I could go an entire year without ever wearing the same shirt twice. Truthfully, I could probably make it 2 years. And I am almost certain that I have enough shoes to last 6 months without any repeats, if not longer. I'd have to look through the bins in the garage to see for sure, but it wouldn't surprise me in the least.
I've talked about credit cards on here before, but I've never actually talked about my credit cards.
Patrick has a great job. He's not a surgeon, but he makes more than the median state household income. When I was working, we were making more than double the average. Which is huge considering we live in a very rural, low-income community.
But we are broke. I mean flat broke.
Now, before I continue, I want to throw something important out there. I know that a lot of people scrunch their noses at the thought of sharing some things. Many people believe that matters such as political opinions and financial standing should be private.
I think that it is up to you to decide what you are comfortable letting people know, and no one but you should have the right to decide such things. Personally, I am writing this blog for me. I want to remember exactly how I felt in this moment, and I want to hold myself accountable. I want you to hold me accountable. So, I am going to do what may be considered an "over-share." If you don't want to read it, don't. If you think it's inappropriate, feel free to move on and find another blog to read. I honestly don't care if I have a single reader; I write for me, and my family. (Not to say that I don't love having readers; I do! But, when it comes right down to it, this is for me, not you.)
You were warned.
Ahem.
I first heard Dave Ramsey's show in June of 2007. I was driving to Knoxville to see one of my best friends. Patrick and I had been married a little over a month, and I had 4 credit cards: Express, New York and Company, Old Navy, and a Capital One card. I honestly have no clue how much the balance on them was, but I know that it was less than $1000 total.
I remember hearing these idiots call in on a radio show and scream, "We're debt FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Big whoop.
There's this spot between Cookeville and Knoxville where you are lucky to pick up one radio station. I was a 23 year old newlywed on my way to buy some secondhand furniture. I worked about 20 hours a week for less than $8.00, and I would still be a full-time student for another 3 years. Patrick worked about 30 hours a week and farmed (which was a money pit) on the side.
We had just bought a house that was well below what we could afford/were approved for. We were feeling very proud of ourselves for behaving like such grown-ups.
Anyway, as I listened to this crazy man on the radio ramble on and on about debt being dumb and grandmother's teachings, I felt very secure in my financial situation. My dad had always made it a point to talk about money openly and honestly with me; I knew all about 401k's and credit scores. I understood the difference between good debt and bad debt (ironic now that I'm thinking about it; is any debt ever good?)
Secretly, I found all avenues of finance interesting, and I admitted numerous times to Patrick that if I were better at math, I would want to have a career in the field.
I became a reluctant fan of Dave's, and one day I realized that I had listened to his radio show daily for several months.
But we were still in debt. We didn't have an emergency fund. We didn't make a budget, let alone talk about our money. We had separate checking accounts. He paid the mortgage and the household bills. I paid my credit cards and bought the food/clothing/extras.
I can write an entire book about the psychological influences which made me become a shopaholic. Let's just chalk it up to low self-esteem and call it a day, shall we? I have always noticed brands and styles; I have a true love labels.
I love to receive compliments from people, and I always take pride in my appearance (at least I did before Myra Mae came along. Now, I'm just happy if I've had a shower and a nap). This will sound completely crazy, but I don't like to shop where everyone else shops. For example, I LOVED Old Navy when I was in high school. The closest one to us was about an hour away, and very few people I knew wore the brand. I hated walking down the halls and realizing that 15 other people had on my shirt. I can't explain why, but I've always been that way. Yes, Old Navy is cheap. But at that time, Mom & Dad were footing the bill.
I began reading other blogs and noticing the style of some of my favorite bloggers. They would answer questions about their clothing in the comments section, and I would check out the stores. Through blogging, I discovered Boden, Garnett Hill, Sundance, Anthropologie, and countless other stores.
I still remember the first time I wore a necklace from Lisa Leonard (who I discovered through the blog world). Patrick bought it for me for my first Mother's Day. It had JC's name on it, and I still wear it on a daily basis. Even though I'm now a Silpada rep, I still wear my Lisa Leonard Dewdrops necklace all the time. Anyway, I received about 10 compliments on this one necklace. I loved telling people where I got it and hearing them say, "Oh. I've never heard of that store. Is it local?"
I loved being the source of inspiration for strangers. I was happiest when someone would tell me that I was stylish. I was the ultimate consumer, and now that I've taken time to step back and think about it, I don't think I even realized that I had a problem back then. I was just finding my place in the world.
The tipping point for me came in the form of an interest free financing offer from Best Buy. I needed a new computer and was approved for $1800. I bought my first laptop for $1050 on a 18 month same as cash plan. We made a $60 payment each month and it was nothing. We ate out almost every night. We went to the movies or out with friends every weekend. I never thought about that card as being a source of financial ruin; it was just $60 a month (the minimum was only $25, but we paid enough so that we could get it paid off within the interest free time period).
I began to look at "monthly payments" as a way to get what I wanted out of life RIGHT NOW. I blame my impatience on being an only grandchild; I rarely wanted for anything. The bottom line was that I bought into a lie; I could finance myself into prosperity.
The fall before I graduated, Patrick opened a credit card in his name in order to transfer the balance of my cards onto his account. JC was the same age Myra is now when our debt went from $5,000 to $10,000. I had maxed out my cards and had been on a shopping "diet" for a few months. Once the transfer went through I had tons of room on my card for shoes, purses, movies, clothes, toys for JC, etc. Whatever my heart desired, I could have it instantaneously for the low price of a few dollars a month.
I got a Gap card. Then a Pottery Barn card. Then a Target card. Next came another Capital One, Discover, J.Crew, and Victoria's Secret.
Our refrigerator broke, so I opened a Lowe's card (18 months same as cash).
Then, I wanted a few organizational things, so I turned to Crate and Barrel.
I financed my MacBook Pro on a Barclay Card, and Patrick bought me a new camera on a Best Buy card that he opened just for the occasion (Note: Patrick HATES credit cards. I begged and nagged until he gave in). Just an FYI: both were paid off within the "interest-free" time frame. Patrick hasn't used his Best Buy card since, but I've almost maxed out the Barclaycard.
The funny thing? My credit is still great. It's not perfect, but it's high enough that it's considered "excellent".
In October of 2011, Patrick opened another card (interest free for a year, then 7.99% after that) to transfer the balances of my cards. Despite what Dave says about doing this, we went for it sure that this would solve all of our problems. And, it did. Until I realized that it was close to Christmas and I didn't have any money to buy nice gifts. (Which doesn't even make sense looking back: it's not like Christmas is a surprise. It's the same freaking day every single year. It didn't sneak up on us!)
Looking back, I don't understand how I didn't see that our life was a train wreck waiting to happen. It wasn't a matter of "if", but a matter of "when" it would jump the tracks and wreak havoc on everyone within a hundred mile radius.
Here we sit, February 2013, and I am openly admitting that we are nearly $30k in credit card debt. I say we only because Patrick was trapped by a little thing we like to refer to as our wedding vows. Though, the "for better or worse" portion of our vows included things like natural disasters and infectious diseases. Not death by fallen delivery boxes.
Please understand that when I say "trapped" I don't really mean he's trapped. At least I don't think he is. Hmm...I think we might need to have a conversation! Ha! Patrick is the least materialistic person I've ever met. When we got married, I was so shocked at the contents of his closet. He still had things from high school. Pepsi t-shirt, anyone? You can have it if you stop by Goodwill. I'm almost certain that, almost 6 years later, it's still there. But, Patrick is perfectly content with things just as they are. Truthfully, it drives me absolutely insane, and we have had many more fights about it than I am ever willing to admit. But, he is one of those rare people who just gets it. We're not here to be the best dressed with the fanciest car and house. It doesn't matter if the bookshelves are perfectly styled or if our children wear Ralph Lauren. I get it. Truly, I do. But, I don't. Rationally, I know these things; I know that they people who matter won't care what brand we wear, or if my purse is from last year. But, deep down the fear and insecurities take over and I stupidly feel like I have to dress a certain way or have my house a certain way. Again, it all ties back to the confidence thing I mentioned earlier.
Anyway. We're (by we, I mean I; Patrick's been doing it right all along) making progress.
Going by our budget, it will take us approximately 27 months to pay off our debts. We could do it in less time, and get "gazelle intense" as Dave says, but I know me. That won't work. I can't quit spending cold turkey, and I will be more successful if I am able to eat out every now and then.
It's a huge deal for me to write this; it means that I am ready to make a change.
I have a wish list a mile long, but at the top of it is a house on a farm. The root of my entire need for change may sound silly to some people, but it makes perfect sense to me. My son is scared of the cows. He doesn't really know how to act around them because he's only been around them once a week. He screams and cries when we get them up. More than anything (other than a heart for Jesus), we want our kids to grow up on a farm. We want them to have that responsibility and sense of accomplishment as they work with their calves. We want them to develop the work ethic that comes along with it.
So, I am more determined than ever that we will be on a farm within 2 years. We've got big plans to make that happen, and I can't wait to share them!
